18 |
drinkanddrugsnews
| May 2012
Family support |
Stigma
www.drinkanddrugsnews.com
Out in the
COLD
In April’s issue we focused on
families to underline the need for
appropriate support. In direct
response, Maureen Roberts told
us of her harrowing experience of
coping with prejudice on top of
grief when she lost her son Scott
T
here’s nothing out there for families during the grieving process.
Drug users are stigmatised in life, and sadly that happens in
death as well. No excuses are accepted and everything has to be
their fault. Scott became drug free apart from methadone, which,
like anything else, the doctor gives you to maintain your health. I
take Warfarin and view that in exactly the same light.
When Scott was refused a prescription over a bank holiday weekend and
when one receptionist decided he couldn’t be seen, it was like signing his
death warrant. How can a professional not know that a five-day window where
somebody doesn’t have any methadone can result in them dying?
He rang the out-of-hours service and so did I – we were willing to do
anything. Between us we made five calls, but they didn’t ring back. We’re still
waiting for that call.
At the mention of methadone he’d become ‘that kind of patient’. He was
discriminated against in life and he and his family were stigmatised in death.
If somebody had said to him, ‘if you have symptoms you can call this
number’, it wouldn’t have happened.
There’s been no acknowledgement that this was a man who played a big part
in our lives. He had everything going for him. I used to say to people, ‘your love
for your kids is unconditional, but some days it’s OK not to like them’. But we’d
gone way past that stage. Scott was working hard, he was maintaining his own
life. He’d got two kids who were well adjusted, and in their late teens and
twenties at the time of his death. He’d got everything going for him.
*****
When Scott died I knew he hadn’t died of heroin. But I had the police telling
me I had to accept that that was what had killed him. Because I was always
honest about Scott, I said I believed he’d got methadone off the black market
a week before his death, but that it was watered.
Then they came back a few days later and accused me of moving all the