Basic HTML Version
8 |
drinkanddrugsnews
| December 2013
Adfam/DDN conference |
Families First
www.drinkanddrugsnews.com
‘W
e might be fed up of banging on about the same old thing
– but many families haven’t heard it and it’s important that
they do,’ Adfam’s chief executive Vivienne Evans told
delegates at the second Adfam/
DDN Families First
conference. ‘We have to aim that people can speak out.’
Much of Adfam’s work was centred on promoting family support in its own right,
tackling stigma, and developing forums and regional networks, she said.
Mark Gilman, national recovery strategy lead at Public Health England (PHE)
believed in the essential value of support networks. ‘Social relationships are a
matter of life and death,’ he said, adding that social isolation could be ‘a death
sentence alongside the chemicals.’ This applied equally to families of loved ones,
whose involvement with organisations such as Al-Anon showed better outcomes
and support throughout the recovery process.
Nick Barton, chief executive of Action on Addiction tackled the difficult
concept of ‘tough love’, commonly seen to mean not tolerating certain
behaviours and often driven by helplessness.
‘When someone comes up with a simple formula like tough love seems to be,
there’ll be plenty of takers,’ he said. ‘But the core question is, can you get
someone to stop their addiction by the way you relate to them? My answer would
be no. And can you improve your life by the way you relate to someone with
addiction? The answer is yes.’
Setting boundaries was no bad thing between adults, but it had to be done
for the right motives. Families needed to realise that it might have an effect, or
it might not, he said.
‘Addicted people often offer invitations to treat them badly,’ he stated. ‘We
don’t have to accept these – in fact they should be resisted. Don’t take the
addicted behaviour personally – it’s not directed at you. It’s about their difficulty
in being themselves.’
A nurturing attitude to helping was usually better than confrontation, he
suggested. ‘There’s no evidence for tough love. It can be counterproductive and
make problems worse.’
Participants in a ‘carers’ rights’ workshop were glad to hear this advice.
‘It was so reassuring to hear Nick Barton’s talk on tough love and that it
There’s been plenty of progress
in bringing family support to the
fore – but there’s still a long
way to go to convince
commissioners, heard the
second national conference for
families and carers. DDN reports
STEP BY STEP
doesn’t necessarily work,’ said a couple from Southampton. ‘We had been living
with guilt as we couldn’t do it.’ The couple’s son had been ‘cast adrift’ from a
young people’s support service as soon as he’d reached 18, leaving them
struggling, with nothing but the number of a local support group that had turned
out to be a lifeline.
The couple explained that they had been to their family doctor who gave no
more help than to say ‘I don’t know how you cope,’ leading to a discussion within
the workshop about the need for GPs to be actively involved.
‘The biggest theme to come out of this is that GPs should signpost
information and support,’ said Su Bartlett, drug and alcohol development worker
at Carers in Hertfordshire, who led the workshop.
‘Caring is tough whatever the rules,’ she said. ‘It’s hard work and often a battle.
The impact is on your physical and mental health – it’s a huge, huge issue.’
It was even difficult to get people to identify with the label of carer. ‘Some
drug and alcohol carers feel that they shouldn’t be accessing services,’ she said.
A UK Drug Policy Commission (UKDPC) study suggested that around 1.5m
‘We might be fed up of
banging on about the same
old thing – but many
families haven’t heard it and
it’s important that they do.’
VIVIENNE EVANS